Prayerfully

Today I have a very dear friend who is in surgery. It is not what they consider minor surgery, but extensive, intense surgery. I am finding it hard to think about much else besides my friend and her hubby waiting for news on her condition. Waiting is hard...

Be still and know that I am God.

I am, Lord, but it is hard!

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.

Patiently?

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

I'll wait, Lord...trusting your sovereignty and your care of my friend!

Thank You, Lord, that You knit my friend together in your mother's womb! Thank You that You are intimately acquainted with every nerve, vessel and fiber of her being! Thank You for the assurance that You love her more than any of us ever could! Thank You for Your presence there in that operating room and for your watch over the surgeons!

May You be glorified in it all!!!

P.S. Just got word that her surgery is done and it went well! So very thankful!!!

Coffee on the back porch while sounds of life escape thru cracked doors and windows.

A simple reminder that being still and quiet is an attitude of the heart and not a location easily found!

Psalm 46:10 ~ Be still and know that I am God.

Yes, yes you are...and I am waiting...heart and mind at rest...for what You have to say!

Pain

We are in the middle of a missions emphasis at church and our friend, JB spoke yesterday. JB has been a friend of ours for almost 16 years and it was amazing to see how he has grown in his ability to communicate in a public forum. Made me get teary-eyed I was just so proud of him.

JB was talking about leading missions trips to Cambodia and Haiti and the extreme poverty of wealth and spirit you can witness there. He also shared about witnessing extreme joy from people who have nothing because they have had a radical encounter with Jesus Who meets all their expectations and needs according to His riches in glory. JB had a lot of great things to share, but one statement he shared really resonated with me. He was talking about the phenomenon of pain and what it drives us to do and he said...

When you hurt, I pray! When I hurt, I doubt!

Wow! What a truthful nugget to chew on!! My first response when I hear of pain and struggle in someone else's life is always to pray. I let them know I am praying, I request others to pray and I talk to the Lord a lot about their pain. When I experience pain, though, I often jump ahead of prayer to questioning why Papa would allow me to hurt so deeply if He loves me as much as He says He does. Why do I assume His grace, mercy and care is sufficient for everyone but me?

It seems as if other's pain allows me to clearly see His care, desire and ability to intervene on their behalf while my own pain causes me to curl up in the fetal position and wonder why He seems so far away! How is that?

Reality is, the same compassion He has for the hurts of my friends and those I hear about is available to me in just as superfluous a capacity as it is for them. I just have to own that Truth. I just have to understand that there is a picture so much bigger than I can adequately comprehend. I must believe deep in my heart that an imperfect world full of imperfect people is going to have imperfect things happen within it that cause me pain, but that is not the end of the story. There is a perfect Saviour Who is more than able to gather me up...hurts and all...and reassemble the pieces of my life the way He sees fit so that my life and my faith end up a work of art created by the One Who can bring beauty from ashes.

^{Isaiah 61:1-3 ~ 1} The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,

because the LORD has anointed me

to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners,^[a]

² to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor

and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,

³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of joy

instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair

Thank you, Papa, for loving me enough to allow me to experience pain. Pain, while so difficult at the time, is usually the catalyst that stands to drive me straight into Your arms if I choose not to doubt but to trust Your love and care. May I be willing to extend the same measure of grace to myself as I do to others and may I not allow struggle to turn my eyes away from the You and Your ability to meet me in the midst of my struggle!

She's Back!

Well, this year has been a year of big changes and lots of unexpected blessings. It has been a year of feeling overwhelmed for me, though, too! So many changes...so many new relationships...so many new responsibilities added to all the old ones...served to make me feel like a deer in headlights. On the outside I looked pretty calm, but on in the inside I was scrambling!

Since my kids need to eat every day and if I don't school them they may have to go live somewhere else...and since my house continues to get dirty, the clothes need washing, the relationships need stroking and the church women need overseeing...the only thing I could think that I could let go of was taking care of myself! Of course, in hindsight, I realize this was a foolish conclusion to reach, but it was where I landed, none-the-less!

Sadly, my multiple workouts a week fell to the wayside, my writing dwindled down because I didn't even take the time to ponder much of anything and any type of strategic eating plan was just one more draining thing to have to maintain. So while I tried to look in the mirror and embrace the almost 48 year old face and body that stared back at me, it was becoming increasingly hard and it was my own fault!

About a month ago I decided it was time to take care of me again. I decided it was time to carve out time to remember what I liked, who I was, what I thought and to exercise just for me! I started walking again, I took more pictures of things that made me happy, I resumed a healthier way of eating, I started taking my vitamins and supplements again and I allowed myself just to sit and think. Today I took the next step which might have been the hardest of all...

I invited Jillian back into my life!!!

Ugh! I had forgotten how mixed my emotions were where she was concerned! On the one hand she works my tail and that is a good thing! On the other hand, she works my tail in such a way that it makes me hate her just a teensy little bit. I guess I consider her a necessary evil when you get right down to it.

At the beginning of the year I was doing P90X or 2 levels of Jillian at a time. Today I managed to struggle thru the first level of Jillian and then get on the elliptical for 20 minutes to finish up. This time around I am bringing a very bum knee to the workouts and so I had to modify slightly, but I did it!

Day 1 is in the books!

It's hard when you have put yourself in the position of starting at square 1 again, but...I started! I took the plunge and I am going to continue because, quite frankly, I am worth taking care of! Hopefully a benefit will be clothes fitting better and a weight deficit slowly recorded, but right now I am just happy to be doing something for myself.

Thank You, Lord, for your gentle reminder that I am important, too. Thank You for helping me realize that in taking care of myself I position myself to be better equipped to take care of others. Thanks for motivating me to let Jillian whoop my tail and cause me to push my body to the extremes again! Thank You, most of all for your sweet murmurings that, in spite of it all, You love me just the way I am!!

Happy Sunday!!!

My Day in Pictures

If these walls could talk!

Love these birds in the mist!

Plane overhead reflected in the water!

This is one of my favourites I took today!

One of these Canadian Geese is not like the others! Might have been a little hanky-panky that went on with a swan! ;O)

Stopped for coffee in Madison at The Perk and these were my coffee companions. I looked up at one point and giggled and had to snap their picture...discreetly, of course!

Got a giggle at the irony of The Wellness Trail leading to the cemetery!

This is the Nolan Plantation near Bostwick, GA. It was in a few movies, including My Cousin, Vinny!

Loved the fences around the plantation!

All that's left of one of the slave quarters!

Many an exhausted slave has climbed these few steps over the years!

Cotton!

Carts of cotton waiting to be processed at the only working cotton gin for 150 miles...in Bostwick, GA!

Field white with cotton! So pretty!

I took many, many more pictures than these, but these are some of the highlights! All in all, a lovely day!! :O)

Focus!

We are fast approaching the time of year when women can become so overwhelmed with all that is on their plates that they start to sink faster than the Titanic on that fateful night! I had recently been contemplating Thanksgiving and Christmas and was pleasantly surprised that I did not feel my anxiety levels rise as I observed that my plate was not too loaded down. Yeah me! And then it happened...

We had a women's ministry meeting!

Breathe in! Breathe out! Breathe in! Breathe out!

I had forgotten that this was my first year as a wife at the helm in a church environment where there is no lack of opportunities and needs during the holiday season!! The list was endless and I felt my pulse start to quicken and my eyes glaze over as I processed all that was being shared! The worst part was that it was all good. Not one thing was something I could roll my eyes at and dismiss as unnecessary fluff! What to do? What to do?

First thing to do was to realize that one or two or three people cannot do it all! It takes a whole body of believers working together to make it all happen. Letting the hands be the hands and the feet be the feet and every little part of the body operate in its entirety is essential. We need each other!

A number of years ago I quit sending Christmas cards. It wasn't that I think there is anything wrong with Christmas cards, it was just that particular year I realized I could either send Christmas cards or I could enjoy Christmas...and I chose the latter! Fortunately for me, the advance of technology and the invention of FB has kept me in touch with most of the people who would have gotten my Christmas cards anyway. I still enjoy receiving all the cards each year, but I treasure the feeling of not succumbing to the pressure to meet a deadline in the midst of an already busy time!

Now back to the church....I again had a choice. I could look at all that needed to be done and feel the pressure to cram as much as I could into my days or I could calmly ponder the possibilities and focus in on what I was passionate about! What could I, based on the giftings and passions the Lord has placed within me, contribute to this list? Suddenly I found my eyes begin to refocus and my pulse begin to regain its natural rhythm and it all became very clear to me.

There is a group of widows who live in an apartment complex by the church. Many of them have serious needs, but we don't really even know who they are or how truly extensive their needs might be. How fun would it be to plan a tea and invite them all to come and be spoiled for a morning? Allow them to use fine china and taste sweet desserts fixed lovingly with my own hands. Let them eat off of fancy tablecloths and use cloth napkins to wipe their mouths. I am sure for many, if not all of them, this would be a highly unusual occurrence. How disarming would it be, though, for them to realize someone cared enough to treat them like high society ladies? How credible would it make us to pamper them and then tell them we really do care and want to help? How helpful to build a relationship with them to assess what their true needs are during the holidays and all year long?

How relieved did I feel to see with clarity where my gifts and passions could best be utilized? He has wired me to be hospitable and here was an opportunity for me to exercise my spiritual gift!!

Instead of shutting down, I felt myself coming to life. Before I left the church there were already 5 of us committed to going and loving on these ladies. I found myself mentally planning a menu and decorating the tables as I happily drove out of the parking lot!

Reality is, there are still many areas on the list that was presented that need to be covered and I am asking the Lord to impress upon hearts just where exactly they fit in His plan! If we all begin to step out and operate within our giftedness as He gives us opportunity, we eliminate the need for a few people to bear the burden of carrying out all that needs to be done and becoming overwhelmed.

Are you a hand? A foot? Are you a planner? Hospitable? Do you love all that goes with an administrative position or do you come alive as your creative juices start to flow? You have a role...you were created with a definite purpose! Will you ask the Lord to show you what it is and then jump in knowing that He has prepared you for such a time as this?

Read with me these words from the Casting Crowns song, We Are the Body, and ask yourself just where exactly do you fit! The Body is counting on you!!

It's crowded in worship today

As she slips in

Trying to fade into the faces

The girls' teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know

Farther than they know

CHORUS

But if we are the Body

Why aren't His arms reaching

Why aren't His hands healing

Why aren't His words teaching

And if we are the Body

Why aren't His feet going

Why is His love not showing them there is a way

There is a way

A traveler is far away from home

He sheds his coat

And quietly sinks into the back row

The weight of their judgmental glances tells him that his chances

Are better out on the road

CHORUS

But if we are the Body

Why aren't His arms reaching

Why aren't His hands healing

Why aren't His words teaching

And if we are the Body

Why aren't His feet going

Why is His love not showing them there is a way

Jesus paid much too high a price

For us to pick and choose who should come

And we are the Body of Christ

If we are the body

Why aren't His arms reaching

Why aren't His hands healing

Why aren't His words teaching

And if we are the body

Why aren't His feet going

Why is His love not showing them there is a way

Happy Sunday!!!

Desire Granted!

Psalm 37:4 ~

Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart.

All I ever wanted to do was be a wife and a Mama. December 1, 1990 the first part of that dream was fulfilled when I married Tim. October 11, 1992 the rest of the dream was fulfilled when I gave birth to Rachel!! Oh how full my heart was when I looked at this little one for whom my heart had longed!!

It has been 19 glorious years and we have had 4 more additions that have multiplied my initial joy exponentially! Today we get to celebrate Rachel, though, and the gift that she is to each of us!

Rachel, I have watched you grow and mature and evolve into a very amazing young woman. I have watched you go from being obsessed with horses to being obsessed with sports. I have watched your Plain Jane ways slowly be set aside and a girl of beauty emerge! I have watched you struggle thru some tough things, but you have clung to the fact that Jesus loves you and so do we!!

I am so proud of you, Rach, and am thankful beyond adequate words for the gift that you are in my life!! I pray that this year is a year of continued spiritual growth for you, of peace that can't be explained and of exciting surprises that you can't even comprehend yet!!

I love you, baby girl!!! XOXO

Shadows

Tim taught on worry yesterday in church and it was so good. He shared that the definition of worry is to divide the mind or to strangle and knot up. None of those seems desirable yet worry is almost akin to a spiritual discipline for some.

One of our favourite books to read to our kids when they are little is Bedtime For Frances. Frances is a badger with a very vivid imagination. Frances is not a fan of bedtime and she finds many excuses to avoid actually laying down and going to sleep. One episode involves her being convinced there is a monster in the corner and she works herself into a tizzy. After being sent back to bed for the umpteenth time, Frances realizes that the monster that seemed so large is just actually her little bathrobe which has cast a shadow. Not much to actually be afraid of!!

One of the most powerful things that Tim shared yesterday (in my humble opinion ;O) ) was when he said that worry gives a small thing a big shadow! I loved that because it is so true. Worry causes us to take something that is often times not even a big issue and allow it to cast a much bigger shadow than it should be capable of casting. Even if it is a big issue in our lives, we can still be tempted to let it take on a life of its own by not reigning our minds in the way we should.

When you look at the true meaning of worry, it really does seem counter-productive. We are causing ourselves to have a divided mind and be strangled and tied up by worry instead of trusting that the Lord is in control and is taking care of us. We have to wrestle thru in our hearts and come to the conclusion that either He is trustworthy or he is not. It doesn't mean we're not ever going to have concerns or worrisome thoughts, but we can choose to not pitch a tent, make a fire and camp out in the midst of that worry.

Luke 12:25

And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life’s span?

Lord, I don't want to be a woman who allows worry and the cares of the world to define me. I don't want to allow a small thing to cast any big shadows in my life. May I choose to take my thoughts captive and filter everything thru the lens of your sovereignty and care. Help me not be found with a divided mind for then I shall be unstable in all my ways and that is truly no way to live. May I choose to live in the shadow of the cross rather than the shadow of my fears!!

I'm retreat-bound so I'll see you next week!! Thanks for praying for our time away!! XOXO

Today is my 27th anniversary!! 27 years ago today, Labour Day Monday, I surrendered my life to the Lord!! I am so thankful for all He has done in me and thru me in those 27 years and can't imagine a life lived without Him!! \O/

Happy Sunday!!

Measured Words

With Tim being a pastor now, we are heavily involved in the lives of many people on a daily basis. I love it, but it is tiring. I told Tim the other day that one of the hardest parts of this job is the need to measure every word that comes out of my mouth.

Many conversations are centered around very heavy topics and people are coming to us for advice that can have lasting implications. For instance, one girl called me the other day because she has to make some important medical decisions about her mom. While I was so honoured to have gained this woman's trust, I found myself confronted with the fact that the counsel I gave was regarding the very life of another human being. Not exactly light conversation.

And then the need for confidentiality is a very real issue. Unfortunately Christians, who should be the most confidential people around, can actually be some of the biggest gossips you'll ever find. It can be lonely to look around and realize there are VERY FEW people you can really bounce things off of, seek advice from or share your heart with without the risk of it becoming fodder for the grapevine.

There are so many verses that speak to the tongue that it must be an issue near and dear to the Lord's heart...

Proverbs 15:2

The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, But the mouth of fools spouts folly.

Proverbs 15:4

A soothing tongue is a tree of life, But perversion in it crushes the spirit.

Proverbs 18:21

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.

Proverbs 21:23

He who guards his mouth and his tongue, Guards his soul from troubles.

James 1:26

If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless.

James 3:5

So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire!

These verses are just a sampling of scriptures that address our tongue and the blessing or curse it can be in our lives and in the lives of others!! The reality is that those of us who lead are held to a higher standard, but all these scriptures are written for the common man or woman as well. Joe Blow and Suzy Q are still very accountable for what comes out of their mouths even though they may not be in a position of leading others. How much stronger would the body of Christ be if we would just work a little harder to get one of the smallest parts of our body truly under control?

There is a children's rhyme that is often sung as a defense against the onslaught of hurtful words. I am sure you know it. It goes like this...

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

That may actually be one of the biggest lies we ever grapple with from a very early age. In actuality, bones will heal much faster than the heart wounds that words inflict. We can recite this little ditty in our best sing-songy voice, but never out-run the sword that pierces our heart as the words are flung in our direction. Words have one of the greatest abilities to hurt like nothing else ever will, but they also have the ability to bring healing that echoes into eternity!

Lord, may I never take lightly the issue of controlling my tongue. May I always keep, in the forefront of my mind, the reality that I have the ability to speak words of life or words of death into the lives of others. Lord help me remember that as people are looking to me for wise counsel there is a desperate need to prayerfully consider what comes out of my mouth before I utter the first word. And Lord, when it is all said and done, may You find I have been faithful in this area of being wise and measured with my words!!

Psalm 19:14 ~ Let my words and my thoughts

be pleasing to you, LORD,

because you are my mighty rock and my protector.